Forgiveness: How to be set free

I am excited and honored to be speaking at theDBSA OC chapter educational meeting on September 18, 2017. I am going to be speaking on Forgiveness; what it is and what it isn't, and how to begin to set yourself free.

It is open to the public, so if you would like to come click on the links below to find out all the details.

Educational meeting flier

DBSA OC

The "SHOULDS" of Christmas: holiday expectations and stress

Christmas is the time of year where we are to be jolly, generous, and grateful. And yet, often times the holiday "shoulds" can carry stress and expectations that can leave us feeling guilty, irritable, depressed, or anything but happy. If you find yourself saying or thinking "I should..," this holiday season, here is a short article by Dr. Susan Noonan that may help. 

 

 

 

Dustin Shultz, LMFT. I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and adjunct faculty at Azusahttps://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/view-the-mist/201611/holiday-expectations-and-stress Pacific University. I have experience working with teens, men, women, and couples, and have had success with people who are experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma, sexuality, divorce, affairs, cutting, grief, shame, stress, and life transitions. I help people live more authentically and embrace life.

Health and well-being awareness: Movemeber and No-Shave-November

It’s the beginning of November, the morning air is a little crisper, the smell of pumpkin spice is abundant, and many people are putting away their razors, growing out their hair, and exercising. Health and well-being is highly important, and I want to help bring awareness whenever I can.

You may have seen friends posting on social media about participating in Movember or No-Shave-November. I thought you might like to hear a bit of the back story on these organizations and what causes they support. 

Movemeber and No-Shave-November are non-profit organizations that help bring awareness to cancer and mental health in the month of November by challenging us to put away our razors, let our hair grow, and get some exercise. 

Movember encourages men to grow mustaches, and donate to cancer research, and mental health awareness. They have teamed up with The Prevention Institute, and Prostate Cancer Foundation, and give 82 cents of every dollar donated to help fight cancer. If you can’t grow a mustache but still would like to participate, you can also get active and Move for Movember.

 

No-Shave-November was founded by a family in Chicago after their father had lost his battle with colon cancer. The organization challenges all people to stop shaving and donate the money they would normally be spending on razors or waxing appointments. They have teamed up with St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, American Cancer Society, and more to help stop cancer.

This year I have chosen to blend the two together by putting away my razor for the month to support cancer awareness, and taking the Move for Movember challenge for mental health awareness. Join me this November in helping fight cancer, and bringing awareness to mental health.

Below are statistics on cancer and mental health:

Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S.—43.8 million, or 18.5%—experiences mental illness in a given year

18% of the US population (40 million adults) is impacted by an anxiety disorder. Yet only 1/3 seek treatment

6.7% of the US population (15 million adults) is impacted by major depressive disorder.

Depression is the leading cause of disability in the US for ages 15-44

Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US, and the rate of suicide is highest among middle aged white men.

We have all been impacted by cancer in one way or another, and it is often tragic. According to the National Cancer Institute an estimated 1,685,210 new cases of cancer will be diagnosed in the U.S. in 2016, and 595,690 will die. Some of the most common forms of cancer are breast cancer, lung cancer, prostate cancer, colon and rectum cancer, and bladder cancer. 

 

Dustin Shultz, LMFT. I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and adjunct faculty at Azusa Pacific University. I have experience working with teens, men, women, and couples, and have had success with people who are experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma, sexuality, divorce, affairs, cutting, grief, shame, stress, and life transitions. I help people live more authentically and embrace life.

The 9 signs you need to know: Symptoms of depression

We all feel down from time to time, but how do you know if you are depressed, or simply just feeling down?

Depression doesn’t always look the same for everyone, symptoms can be gradual, inconspicuous, and not have a “normal” pattern. Mild depression may present as hitting snooze more often because you find it difficult to get out of bed. You may find yourself choosing to stay home instead of go out with friends. People might comment on how you seem more impatient or irritable lately.

So what is depression, and how can we begin to recognize the symptoms? First let’s start with how the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders or the DSM 5 defines it. Then in the next couple of blog posts, I will take some of the symptoms and describe how these symptoms may present gradually and subtly.

 

9 DEPRESSION SYMPTOMS

Someone who is experiencing depression (clinically known as major depressive episode) will have at least 5 out of the 9 symptoms for two weeks or more.

  1. A depressed mood most of the day, almost every day, and might be subjectively described or reported by others as sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness.
  2. Diminished interest or pleasure in all or almost all activities most of the day, nearly every day. Includes sexual desire.
  3. Significant weight loss when not dieting, or weight gain.
  4. Difficulty sleeping (insomnia), or excessive sleeping (hypersomnia) nearly every day.
  5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation (observable by others, not just subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)
  6. Fatigue or loss of energy
  7. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day.
  8. Diminished ability to think, concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day.
  9. Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal thoughts without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.  

These symptoms will cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of life.

GETTING HELP

Depression is relentless and can be debilitating. If depression is left untreated, the average episode will last approximately 6 months to 2 years. Depression is very treatable! Here are a few ways to begin treatment if you or a loved one is experiencing depression.

  • Create a safe environment: Blaming, or dismissing a person who is feeling depressed will often only exacerbate the feelings they already have. Be present, listen, and have an open discussion in a non-judgmental way.
  • Listen for suicidal thoughts: If you or a loved one is considering harming himself or herself, immediate treatment is critical. Go to your nearest emergency room, contact a mental health provider, or contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255
  • See a mental health professional: This can be a psychiatrist to help prescribe medications if necessary, or therapist who has experience treating depression.
  • Find resources and support: There are several online resources like National Institutes of Mental Health and National Alliance on Mental Illness. There are support groups such as Depression Bipolar Support Alliance as well.

Over the next blog posts, I will discuss these symptoms more to help you identify the more subtle signs of depression.

Dustin Shultz, LMFT. I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and adjunct faculty at Azusa Pacific University. I have experience working with teens, men, women, and couples, and have had success with people who are experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma, sexuality, divorce, affairs, cutting, grief, shame, stress, and life transitions. I help people live more authentically and embrace life.

Hidden in analogy: How to talk with people who are depressed

The emotional and physical expressions of depression can be extremely difficult to describe. Oftentimes, literal language falls short in conveying the depth of what it feels like to be depressed, because it can be subtle and nuanced. Depression isn’t as simple as feeling sad.

Throughout the years, artists, poets, and musicians have tried to use their talents to express the complexity of depression. Their ability communicate the raw, often crippling emotions that come with depression is what draws many people to deeply connect to their work.

 

Edvard Munch DESPAIR

Edvard Munch DESPAIR

I recently had an opportunity to do a workshop for people who struggle with severe depression. During our conversation, I asked them to describe what their depression feels like. At first it started off with one word adjectives such as sad, lonely, and empty. After a bit more discussion, people began to share deeper feelings such as hopeless, numb, despair, and shame. Then something amazing happened, it was as if the literal language didn’t suffice, and people started using analogies such as,

“I feel like I am lost in a dense fog,”

“I feel like I am treading water, and I can barely sip in air as the ocean engulfs me,”

“it’s like a waterboarding of your soul,”

“I feel like I am an abandoned building, I am physically there but there is no life in me.”

People who are struggling with depression want to be heard and they long to be understood. They want to know they are not alone in this, and that there is hope, even if they don't feel like there is.

Unfortunately, depression is often viewed as a weakness. Some people think the depressed person just needs to snap out of it and work harder, or that it’s all in their head. Because of this stigma, people with depression can feel misunderstood or dismissed which often affirms a critical internal voice that says they are worthless and unlovable, and can exacerbate the feelings of depression. Sadly, many people will not seek help even though depression is very treatable.  

If you’re concerned that you or someone you know may be struggling with depression, pay attention to the analogies and body language as depression is often clothed in phrases like the ones above.

How to talk to someone about depression

Talking to someone who is depressed can elicit feelings of uncertainty of what to say and how to say it. You may find yourself feeling helpless as you watch them struggle in their depression. Oftentimes, you’ll notice that you may want to give them advice on how to feel better. It is important to remember that you don’t have to try to “fix” the person, but compassionate listening can show that you care and are there to support them.

Here are some ways you can begin a conversation:

“I have noticed that you seem down lately, and wondered how you are feeling?”

“I have noticed some changes in you recently, and I wanted to check in with you.”

“I have been feeling concerned about you lately, how have you been doing?”

Things you can say that can be helpful:

“You are important to me. Your life is important to me.”

“I might not understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to support you.”

“You are not alone in this. I am here for you, and we will get through this together.”

“Let’s talk to a doctor and/or therapist together.”

Listening, encouragement and support can bring great hope, and it can all begin by being attuned to the analogies and body language, and knowing the signs of depression. In the next blog post I will discuss the symptoms of depression, and then expand on how those symptoms may be gradual and subtle.

Dustin Shultz, LMFT. I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and adjunct faculty at Azusa Pacific University. I have experience working with teens, men, women, and couples, and have had success with people who are experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma, sexuality, divorce, affairs, cutting, grief, shame, stress, and life transitions. I help people live more authentically and embrace life.

Making the Most of Our Moods: Living with depression and bipolar.

If you or someone you know experiences depression or bipolar, it is important to have resources available to help.

Depression Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) connects people to a support group and provides conferences to learn more about how to live with depression and bipolar disorders.

Click here to check out the DBSA-CA website

I will be doing a workshop at the Depression Bipolar Support Alliance Conference Saturday September 24th. If you would like to attend the conference click the button below to download the registration forms.

 

Dustin Shultz, LMFT. I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and adjunct faculty at Azusa Pacific University. I have experience working with teens, men, women, and couples, and have had success with people who are experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma, sexuality, divorce, affairs, cutting, grief, shame, stress, and life transitions. I help people live more authentically and embrace life.